Lost Her (Lost #1) Read online

  “Yes, I was on a special soccer, hockey and academic scholarship and I sure can help out,” I replied back to him thinking to myself that I love hearing the fact that Livi was bragging about her athletic husband.

  Livi- I see Ryan following behind Parker up from the beach. It looks like they are both smiling. Ah, maybe the tension will release if these guys could get along. Parker cornered me today for a brief moment while the students were grabbing their lunches from the cubbies and wanted to know what this meant with Ryan tracking me down.

  “Did he tell you why he came last night?” Parker looks at me with a cautious smile.

  “No, he was too drunk to get anything out of him last night,” I grin back at him before turning back into my classroom to have lunch with my students.

  I was happy, no, extremely thrilled to see Ryan making an effort to fit in. He has some skills that I think the children would enjoy learning as I watched him set up cones with Parker. Some male bonding time for those two men while they co-coached the children would be great. I think to myself to see if I can get away and grade some papers over at the Cantina. I call out to the guys while I start hugging my students’ goodbye, “Would you mind if I took off? I had to attend to someone’s drunken state last night and I am behind on grading papers. When you are done, just head over to the Cantina,” I yelled out and waved. I got the return wave from Parker with a nod.

  I run back into the school and grab my work. I head over to the Cantina. Once I walk up the steps I take notice that there is no Señor Marquis sitting at the bar. Wow, I find that extremely odd. I pull out a bar stool and plant myself on the seat. Rosalie appears from the back kitchen with her welcoming smile. I jump to the question, “Where is Señor Marquis?”

  Rosalie smiles as she hands me an Imperial beer of which she knows I have become really fond. “Silly man took a job from your cocky scowling man doing a project.”

  I look at her concerned at first, but knowing Ryan he most likely threw some money at him to make him stop bothering him, “Yes, cocky sounds like Ryan and you need to add arrogant to the description,” I chuckle out.

  “I must ask, where he is,” Rosalie said hesitantly as she looks back toward the beach.

  I laugh at her concern and offer the answer, “Parker and Ryan are teaching the children fútbol skills.”

  She looks wearily at me and nods with a smile, “I guess that man did listen to my warning and is depositing his jealously in the garbage.” I nod in agreement with her and she continues to tell me, “Ryan is getting up early tomorrow and going to the market with me. It will be nice to have muscle other than Señor Marquis. You know Señor runs off to talk to the pretty ladies and leaves me to load the truck.”

  We are both laughing and I have to confirm what I heard, “So Ryan has offered to go to market with you? That is a step I never thought he would do, shopping. Maybe it is better than him waiting around all day for me, so he can see the country. That really sounds good.”

  “Since he took Señor Marquis from me, I need the muscle and you know it is not best to drive alone,” she replied with a huge smile and she continued, “Since it is Parker’s birthday, would you like me to pick him up something for you? I know you will not being able to get him anything before the trip this weekend to National Park. He has been so excited and has been rambling about it all week.”

  I place my hand over my mouth in disbelief that I forgot and what am I going to do with Ryan. I still have not discussed anything with Ryan as why he is here and what his plans are being here in Costa Rica. I felt panic wash over me since I do not like making Ryan angry nor do I like to let my friends down. Rosalie looks at me, “Did you forget?”

  “Yes, I completely have forgotten my plans. I am overcome with Ryan showing up. What am I going to do now?” I say in a state of confusion.

  Rosalie offers up a solution, “Buy Parker a few shots tonight and I will plant a seed in his head to invite Ryan for Saturday.” I laugh at her solution and it does seem logical. I now am more than sure she does not know about that small moment Parker and I had the other night. Then Rosalie looks at me, “I hope you are not confused.” Shit, she knows.

  Damn Parker with his chatter box mouth and I reply, “No, I love Ryan. If he wants to adapt to my new life that I have made for myself like he was saying all slurring out last night when he was drunk. Then yes, I will have him back. Or I mean he takes me back.”

  She smiles at me brightly, “I really do not think you will have a problem with him reconciling. Maybe adapting.” We both let out laughs that we stifle back when we see Ryan and Parker climbing the stairs to the bar.

  I turn back to Rosalie and whisper, “Señor Marquis fixed the steps. I did not even hear them coming up the steps.”

  “No,” Rosalie points to Ryan, “He fixed them, he was bored.” I smile at her and then back at Ryan for his willingness to stepping up to help Rosalie with some of her Cantina maintenance issues.

  Ryan saunters over to the bar and sits next to me. He reaches over to grab the back on my bar stool and pulls me closer to him. I was startled by his action, but I do not know why. He has been doing that to me since the first day I went for pizza with him at college. My mind drifts back to when we went to Brother Bruno’s and sat at a table. Instead of moving his chair closer to me, he pulls my chair over to him. I always remembering that I found it odd and rude, but over the years I got used to that as well as him taking food off my plate without asking. This man has always been quirky and never really polite, just arrogant! He has always acted like he was God’s gift to all and most people agreed with his attitude. The only time Ryan was not cocky was around my family. With them he acted like a studious athlete with the utmost politeness. I think he was afraid that my father and brothers would take him out back and shoot him if he screwed up with me.

  Now, I think about Rosalie’s idea to get Parker buzzed to invite Ryan to his get together this weekend. Rosalie is a smart woman and I love her for always watching out for me. She has always been welcoming to me and she just took me under her wing when I arrived. I only know a little about her. I know that she is from Brazil and she married an American. Moved to the States where she attended college, achieved a PhD and then divorced. Then, she married a Costa Rican Fútbol star who died in a high speed crash in California. She traveled the world on his life insurance payout and then settled here to be near his family. Rosalie never had children of her own, but she sure makes every child in this town feel like they have a second mother. She is truly a Mother Teresa.

  I come out of thought by Ryan snapping his fingers in front of my face. Typical Ryan, I think to myself. “What? What,” I ask looking at him as if he just shook me awake. He puts his elbows on the bar and leans in to me looking at me with concern in his eyes, “Are you doing alright in that mind of yours?”

  I knew exactly where he was going with that question, “I am fine. I am doing just great!” I smile back at him to give him reassurance that I was not digressing back into my grief stricken self. He looks me right in the eyes with his perfect green eyes as if he was trying to read my thoughts.

  “Good, I see you were drinking beers and I know how sometimes the alcohol does not play nice with your emotions. Makes you think too much, you know!” I just nod yes while I am still engaged in a stare into his eyes. I always loved his long shimmering black eye lashes against those perfect green eyes; they would send shivers down to my heart and warm the depths of my stomach.

  I look up to Rosalie with a big smile, “Shots for the bar.” She nods and starts pouring.

  “Do you think that is a good idea after the state I was in yesterday?” Ryan whispers in my ear.

  I look at him and wink, “Rosalie, vodka for this one here since tequila is not very nice to him.” Rosalie then takes Ryan’s tequila shot pushing it in front of Parker.

  “Whoa, I got two. I must have been a very good boy,” Parker says with a nod. Rosalie put Ryan’s shot down in front of him.

  I l
ift up my glass, “To the almost birthday boy, my friend Parker.” We all swig back our shots. Ryan looks at me with a grimace. I wonder what that is about. Then I see Rosalie lean into Parker speaking with him about his birthday weekend and friends that will soon be arriving. I look over to see Parker getting all excited speaking about the details as Rosalie pours him another shot of tequila. I was smiling big at Parker about to join in with questioning him about the plans when I see Ryan staring at me with piercing eyes. I laugh out at Ryan who has this jealous glare and I touch his knee running my finger in a circle. Ryan’s glare softened up. I lean with one elbow on the bar and speak over to Parker. “What time is everyone leaving on Saturday to go up to the park? I just can’t wait; it will be some much fun.” Ryan grabs my hand still from circling on my knee and squeezes it pretty hard. I do not even offer any emotion or play into Ryan being mad.

  Parker speaks up after downing another shot, “What time do you think you and Ryan will be ready to roll?” Bingo, there is the inclusion that we needed and I wink at Rosalie.

  I beam up a look at Ryan with a huge smile, “Ryan and I can be ready when you are. We should play it by ear since your friends may have jet lag and need to sleep in.”

  “Oh right, right,” Parker says cheerfully, “I am so excited to see everyone.”

  “We are going to the park on Saturday?” Ryan asks with an inquisitive look on his face.

  Rosalie chimes in as she places nachos on the bar, “Not just any park, but our National Park. The Hitoy Cerere, it is just one of many beautiful parks here in this country. That jungle is filled with pristine waterfalls and lush vegetation. This is an outstanding opportunity to experience uncharted territory. You will have great fun. Olivia and Parker go there a lot to hike and swim.”

  Ryan smiles and nods with approval, “Does sound breathtaking but are there ticks?”

  I start laughing uncontrollably, “Ryan is not much the outdoorsman type and fears ticks. But yes, Ryan, we have chiggers, mosquitoes, ticks and bees. Just like back home. Pick up bug spray when you go to the market with Rosalie in the morning.” Ryan just nods in approval with big open eyes.

  Parker adds, “Spiders like you have never seen before as well.” Ryan’s eyes open wider and he starts that itching thing he does when he just hears the word bugs. I grab his hand to stop his mental image and wave my other hand at Rosalie to give Ryan another shot. We finish dinner while are chatting about the wildlife Ryan might get to see this weekend. I pay the bill and walk over to the end of the bar to give Rosalie a big hug. She hugs back in silence giving me a gentle kiss to the cheek. Ryan and I say our goodbyes and start walking up the hill to go home.

  We walk silently for a while and Ryan grabs my hand. “What was will all the hugging and kissing back there?” he questions like he is confused and just saw two women hugging for the first time in his life.

  “Oh, I always do that when saying goodbye or hello. The culture here is different than home.” I say to him softly.

  “My mother always tried to hug you and you were quite distant to her,” Ryan states.

  “Ryan, I feel more comfortable here than I did with your family. They always made me feel like I was a poor tomboy gold digging farm girl and had no right being with their son. They never accepted me and now with Briar, they never will,” I speak meekly.

  “You are right, they never understood you. How you could be so competitive in a man’s’ world and not be a little housewife. They have no idea what happened with us and the Briar rules. They would never understand or forgive you. I would rather keep them in the dark forever than cause you more pain. I, on the other hand, forgive you and always loved your tough sense of independence,” he finishes as he lifts my hand to kiss it.

  All I could muster out of my mouth was, “Thank you.” We walk the rest of the way home quietly as we listened for animals. We approach the door and I fiddle with the keys to open the door. We enter inside with the dogs running over to their food bowls. Ryan motions to the bowls wanting to feed them. I point to the cabinet and head off to the bathroom to wash up and change for the night.

  While I am washing away the sun block from my face, I keep thinking about this conversation I am about to have with Ryan about his intentions. I walk back into the living room and Ryan is nowhere to be found. I go to the bedroom and Ryan is asleep on my bed. He has one dog under his arms and it appears that Ryan is snoring already. I do not have the heart to wake him to have him move to the couch. I just grab an additional blanket and climb into bed. Ryan has a tendency to sleep on top of the blankets and once he get cold he starts rolling in them to keep warm. I am exhausted too and fall into a quick sleep listening to the wind in the trees.

  CHAPTER 5

  “Rye, get up honey. You are going to make Rosalie extremely mad if you are late,” I say as I softly place gentle kisses on his forehead. He stretches his arm up above his head and straightens his legs. I start to push myself off the bed when Ryan wraps his arm around my waist and pull me down on top of him. Then with a slight jolt to the left, he flips me over to where he is half on top of me with his one leg over mine. He starts to nuzzle my neck and I feel his erection on my thigh. I place my hand on his very strong muscular back and trace my fingers up his back to run my fingers through his thick black hair. He moans and then I feel him moving his groin back and forth to make me completely aware that he is interested in pursuing more. His mouth moves along my neck up to my ear and he grazes his teeth along my cartilage. Now I am lost in the moment feeling completely warm and an internal aching deep within me. I run my hands down his back and grasp his rock hard ass and start to massage his backside.

  He whispers in my ear, “I see you found your favorite part of me.” He just brought my excitement up another level as I dig my finger nails in to his skin and he lets out a deep growl. He places his lips above mine without kissing me, teasing me with a promise that a deep kiss is soon to follow. He turns his head giving me access to his ear. Before I can nibble on his lobe, he suddenly jumps up out of bed. “It that the time? Shit! I got 20 minutes to get to the Cantina,” he says startled pointing at the alarm clock.

  I start laughing at his shock with amusement, “Rye, we will take the Land Cruiser down today. I assume you are going to buy supplies. This way it will be easier for you to get the groceries home. I have the coolers outside in the truck already. Go shower and brush those teeth,” I finish with a wink and still sounding breathless from our intimate moment. He runs off to go shower, leaving me flustered on the bed. If I just didn’t get ready beforehand, I would have joined him in the shower.

  Ryan- I sure do not understand why Livi walks back and forth to work when she has this perfect Land Cruiser. I know she will say to give the dogs exercise or to save on gas money, but this truck is a fun off-roading beast. She always liked the finer vehicles. Her Lexus truck at home was her daily driver and in the garage was her 1998 Mercedes convertible that her father Henry bought her when we graduated from Seton Hall. She was always fickle about putting mileage on the car. Maybe, when I get back I can do some exploring before I prepare dinner for Livi tonight. I should have gotten pen and paper from Livi so that I can make a shopping list. Ah, I will just use my phone while Rosalie is driving. I was going to make a lasagna, salad and cheesy garlic bread. Also, a few bottles of a nice dry red wine for tonight as well. I just want us to stay in the house tonight and talk.

  The last few nights we have been so occupied with other things that we have not had time to get reacquainted. This morning was getting close to the re-acquainting that I wanted to do and Livi seemed very much wanting me as well. I know our marriage is far from over and Livi does seem happy here. That is all I ever wanted for her, is to be happy. The move, the new job and her students seem to have brought her back from the dark depression that she was in. I will tell her tonight that she was right all along to want a change of scenery from all the bad memories and my anger.

  I pull up to the Cantina and see Rosalie with a big
box truck. I jump out of the truck walking toward her when she points back to the Land Cruiser. I nod at her fully understanding her non-verbal message. I walk to the back of the Cruiser and take out 3 coolers. This is overkill I think to myself. Does Livi really think I am really going to purchase three coolers of food today on this trip to the market? I place them in the box truck that has close to 20 coolers much larger than Livi’s coolers all stacked and bungee corded together. Rosalie is waiting for me in the truck and I climb up in to get this trip started. Rosalie smiles at me and hands me a big insulated cup of coffee with some good but has an odd taste to it. I look over and nod with a smile, “What is in the coffee?”

  “Oh that is butter pecan ice cream that I need to use up from the freezer before it gets burned,” she smiles brightly.

  I take another gulp, “Good thinking and it tastes really good.”

  She drives up the gravel road and the truck is quite bouncy. She looks over to me, “Butter pecan is my guilty pleasure. I fell in love with it when I lived in the States.” I pull out my phone and start typing a list of shopping items. Rosalie is curious in what I am doing and she asks, “I know you do not have a signal yet, so what are you typing?”

  I smile looking up from typing, “Grocery list. I am going to make a tray of my famous lasagna tonight for Livi.”