Lost Her (Lost #1) Read online

  He whispers, “Thank you, Livi,” pauses and proceeds to tell me, “I will be fine, just going to take a cold shower to break my heat from the alcohol. You go off to sleep.” I am still crouching with my hand rubbing his back. He lets out a little moan as if he finds this comforting. I slowly stand to bring my hand away and step back to grab a towel off the bar and place it close to him for his shower.

  I leave the bathroom and leave the door slightly ajar. I walk into my room, climb back into bed. I notice that I have his very sexy comforting smell on my hand from rubbing his back. I smile as I grip my pillow trying to get comfortable as I listen to the shower water run. The relaxing sound of the splashing water must have put me to sleep.

  I am awoken again by an arm over my hip and Ryan’s gentle breathing while he is asleep. He climbed into bed with me after his shower and decided he wanted to cuddle against me. I do not move. I just lie there and I too feel secure with his arm around me. I smile and soon drift back to sleep.

  CHAPTER 4

  My alarm goes off and I quickly hit it off trying not to wake Ryan. I do not want to move, but I have to get to school. I gently slip out of his arm and I stand up. I turn to look at him and see this very sexy man who came to bed with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His giant muscular thighs are hardly being covered with my towel which the towel seems so small at this moment. I pull my eyes away to stop staring at this gorgeous man that I had loved since college. I walk to the glass sliders and pull the room darkening curtain across so Ryan will not have the rising sun in his eyes and maybe sleep in, too. I turn on the ceiling fan so he has a cool breeze to keep him from getting too warm. I bustle around to leave for work on time.

  I head out on to the road and notice I only have one dog with me. What traitors those animals are staying with Ryan instead of the person who feeds them. I pick up my pace fully knowing I am going to be late, but thinking has overcome me again. Maybe being late is a good thing, and then I do not have to answer any of Parker’s questions about Ryan’s visit or about what happened yesterday. I am running up the stairs to the school and turn right around the corner to my classroom. There is Parker as always with a cup of coffee for me. He hands to the cup to me with a gentle apologetic smile then he whispers to me as the students are running to their classroom, “We’ll talk later.” He turns away from me going into his room.

  Ryan- I wake up pretty late and realize the warmth next to me is my dog and not Livi. I get up noticing that I am in her bed, the bed she stole from the house when she split. Well, it is her bed that she has had since second grade, but I keep shaking my head. Of all the things for her to take and ship is her king sized childhood bed. She really is pathetic and I remember all those times trying to get a real bed. She would fight me so hard. She would tell me that she has tried other beds and needs her platform bed. I finally step foot on the hardwood floors and realize I am naked. Oh crap, I came to bed in here after my drunken shower with a towel on; it is all coming back to me now. I walk toward the light and open the curtain. Wow, what a bright light, I think to myself. I head into the kitchen going through every cabinet and refrigerator looking for anything. I found the coffee in the refrigerator and take it out. I am looking everywhere for the coffee pot, I come up with nothing. I open another cabinet and see a French Press. Oh my god, I am going to die and I need to find the closest Dunkin Donuts. I put the coffee back in the refrigerator and grab a beer to apply alcohol to my hang over. I fiddle to open it and take a gulp. Taking in the kitchen supplies, I am noticing that there is no food, just fruit and vegetables, not even bread. I turn around and see by couch another slider. I open the door and walk outside. What a magnificent view of the sea from this hillside and how breathtaking it is just looking at it. I see below me the gravel rocky road that heads back to the town. I look back at the clock in the kitchen and make out that it is almost lunch time. I know what I will do; I will shower and head down to the Cantina for some food. Hopefully it is open. I get ready and lock up the house. The dogs are not staying inside the house; I guess she never leaves them behind. Well, I guess since they were at the Cantina last night then they would be welcome there again.

  I head down the hill and by the time I reach the Cantina, I am parched. I slide up to the bar and notice that bar is made from the same wood as Livi’s coffee table. Then I get an idea in my head that I have to remember to do today.

  Rosalie comes over to the bar and chuckles at me. I completely know why, for my drunken-self last night. Best I can do to not seem like an ass is to apologize. “Hello Rosalie, sorry I was such an ass last night. I am not the tequila drinking kind,” I say with a smile.

  “No problem, so what can I get you?” she asks.

  “Tequila,” I say, “no no, just joking. Anything that will cure my hangover and satisfy my stomach.”

  She smirks at me and responds with, “So you are hungry and I will make you, as you Americans call it, Bloody Maria.”

  I look up at her strangely and I have to ask, “Isn’t that with Tequila?”

  “Yes, you need to add a little more of what got you that headache and the vitamins in the juice,” she looks at me like I should know better. “So for your food, how about a salad,” she asks.

  “Is this entire town vegetarian? Livi has nothing but fruit and vegetables in her house. I need meat!” I respond with a sense of dramatic urgency.

  Rosalie looks at me then explains, “Olivia eats most of her meals here at the Cantina and her students bring her fruit, vegetable and milk, sometimes cheese. She pays them for it so she doesn’t have to go to the market so much. It is a very long drive alone.”

  “Oh, I had no clue and how far can it really be,” I ask.

  “Tomorrow, I am going to the market for staples for the Cantina. If you get up early enough, you can join me. I can use the muscle to load the truck. While you are there, you can make some purchases of your own if you like,” she smiles back at me waiting for an answer.

  “Sounds good to me. What is early?” I ask.

  She looks at me like I am a child, “About six, do you think you can refrain from getting drunk tonight and how about a burger?”

  I nod and smile, “I think I can make that and yes please, I am starved.” Rosalie is a really nice outgoing lady, not sure if she is from this town or came from somewhere else. She has to be about sixty years old and seem very mother hen like. I like her and she seems protective of Livi, I guess she is a good friend to Livi.

  Rosalie brings me my burger and I nod with each bite. “That was amazing, it was like a meat mixture, like meatloaf from back home,” I say to her.

  “It is a pork, chicken, beef and beans mixture. But what makes it smoky is the coffee wood in the grill. Olivia loves it when I grill her fish over it,” confidently assured of her cooking techniques.

  “Speaking of lunch, does Livi come here for lunch?” I ask looking over toward the school.

  “No, Olivia eats whatever she brought with her and she eats in the classroom along with her children,” Rosalie responds, “Please, if I may be nosy, you are not planning on taking her back with you. I overheard you ranting yesterday about the surfer boy which I gather you are speaking about Parker. I noticed he made you all hot heated jealous; you eyed him up the entire time until Olivia came to sit with you. She belongs here and her children, students need her.”

  Taken back from her brute honesty, “I will do whatever Livi wants, but I am not going down without a fight. She is mine and has always been mine. I am not sure how much she divulged to you about home situation,” I speak with caring eyes.

  “Your daughter is quite a chatter mouth, so I know it all, both sides. Have you asked Olivia if she wants you here? You did come without warning,” she responds looking me straight in the eye and continues. “If you take her back, then you are taking her from here. Are you willing to stay?”

  I never thought past getting down here to Costa Rica. Rosalie is right and what does she know about the connection betwee
n Livi and Surfer boy? What is my game plan? I can work remotely and this village is breathtaking. We do need to start over somewhere new, away from the bad memories. I muster up to ask a question, “So what is going on with Livi and Surf boy anyway?” That came out sounding so jealous, but I am.

  “Oh honey, they are co-workers and friends. If you need more, best to ask Olivia. I do not think she would cross the line in such a small school, she has morals. If Parker does have a crush on her, that is only natural and who wouldn’t be crushing on her. I think you might have to fight off Señor Marquis, he crushes over her too,” she replies with a laugh.

  “Speaking of Mr. Marquis, where can I find him? I would like to ask him to make a present for Livi and I will pay him for his artistic craftsmanship. He is amazingly skilled,” I smile.

  “Here in about ten minutes and he does not know much English, so I might have to help you with your request. I warn you though, he will have to string you up by your genitals if you hurt her again,” She glares at me trying to hide her smile. I am not going to even try to explain my side since everyone here is on the cheering squad for Livi. I patiently wait until I hear a voice off to my side. Mr. Marquis is saying something is Spanish which sounded like man is still here. I laugh and Rosalie looks over at me with questioning eyes.

  “I know a little bit of Spanish,” I say gesturing with my thumb and index finger pinched. She lets out a loud laugh. Why do I feel like these two people are going to be my newest extended family members? I feel so at home with them both. Rosalie speaks in Spanish to Señor Marquis and the constant motioning to me with her hand.

  Rosalie then speaks to me, “Señor Marquis would like 100,292.57 in Colón for the table,” with a concerned look in her eyes.

  I laugh really loud with sticker shock, “Over one hundred thousand dollars?”

  Rosalie starts laughing and almost choking trying to contain herself, “No silly, that is in Costa Rican Colóns so about two hundred dollars American.” I start to laugh and realize that I need to download a currency application on my Android smart phone.

  I speak with all seriousness, “Tell Señor Marquis if he finishes within two weeks that I will make it five hundred American dollars.” Rosalie’s smile just blacked out the sun and she now knows that I really do love Señor Marquis’s craftsman artistic ability and maybe I won her over for my love of Livi.

  I am getting really antsy waiting for Livi to either appear outside with her class. I have not seen her since my little drunken sickness session in her bathroom. Well that is a lie, I saw her as I snuggled up to her in her bed last night. I let out a chuckle as I think to myself what Livi must have thought when she woke up. She is this calm, reserved and strong person who is known to get easily embarrassed. She used to be a little wild when she played in her college band with her best friend Chris. But, I know how to turn on her desires that jumpstart her wild sexy side.

  I remember the day I finally spoke to her on campus. She was in my Juvenile Delinquency and Crime class as well as being in my lunch on Mondays and Wednesdays. She was a freshman and an overzealous student, teacher’s pet type. I remember when I saw her in lunch and asked a few of the guys if they knew anything about her. Scott Stevens chuckled, “Man, stay away from that one, she is pretty dyke.” Instantly, I had to hate her since I was still trying to please the first line players and she had other preferences as I was rumored to believe. She was a commuter student and I was a sophomore living in the team apartments, but I still had a car on campus. I was driving up Mountain Ave from Brother Bruno’s Pizza heading back to my apartment. I saw a car with four way flashers on the side of the road and a girl digging through the hatch of a 1986 Camaro. Me, not being a man who leaves a damsel in distress, pulls over behind the car to see if they need a ride to a pay phone. I get out walking over to the car and see it is the girl from my class. She is red faced and crying while she is still digging through the hatch of the car.

  “Did you break down,” I ask, “and do you need a ride?” She uses the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away the tears and nose run off before she looks up at me with those piercing crystal blue eyes.

  She tries to breathe out words, “Car is fine, thank you.”

  Now I am confused and I have to ask, “What are you doing and why are you crying?”

  As she pulls out one of those red foldable emergency shovels, “I hit a cat,” she speaks softly trying not to fight back the tears.

  I laugh and try really hard to look serious, “I am sorry. Would you like help? I assume you are going to bury it since you have a shovel.” She turned then I noticed that she has blood all over her hand and the thigh area of her jeans.

  “Sure, please, can you help me dig a hole,” she speaks meekly, “this way over here?” I follow her to a bundle wrapped in a sweat shirt and start to dig a hole. Once I feel that hole is deep enough, I nod to her to put the bundle in the ground. She gingerly places the cat in its grave and she again is trying to choke back small sobs. I back fill the hole and she just stands there watching. I have never seen some one in so much pain for hitting a darn cat. We walk back to the cars. I place the shovel in her car and close the hatch.

  She looks up at me and speaks softly, “I am going to head back home and cleaned up. Thank you for helping me. I just shut down after what I had to do.”

  I look at her with sympathy, “Well, at least it happened quickly.”

  She started crying again, “No, he was alive, but mangled. I knelt beside him and picked him up. I snapped his neck to end the pain and misery.”

  Stunned at what I just heard, “You did what?” She did not say another word and just gave me a nod as she got back in to her car. She drove off. As I drove up to my apartment, I found myself complete mystified by her and her caring act to help an animal is distress that she caused. Most girls would have run away and said oops to what they did, but she is an odd one who knew what she had to do. She wore the blood on her clothing and herself, she was not even freaked out. Gosh, she was stronger than me. I made it my duty to get to know her better from that day on.

  We started dating and sealed my fate with marriage to her about 3 years later since she became pregnant. We shared an apartment together at law school and we were very rarely ever apart. It was the right choice; she was the right choice.

  Then my memories brought me back to that day when I arrived to the hospital for Briar’s accident. I see Livi sitting in a closed off waiting room through the glass on the door. Again covered in blood with a blank stare with small sobs and a nurse grabbed me by my arm.

  “I am sorry, we had to sedate her. She would not let go of the body,” the nurse said sternly as if Livi was a problem. Then it dawned on me that Briar is gone. I was so bitterly angry with Livi and her defying my rules. I just left her at the hospital without even going to her. I drove for hours until I ran out of gas. I wish I could take it all back; she was not as strong as I thought. She needed me, but I just could not get over my arrogant self. I have a lot to make up for.

  All those months of fighting and counseling could not help us until I said those words to her. That I wanted a divorce, completely out of anger, but my words hit her like shards of glass falling on her, piercing through her. I left the house in fear that more garbage would come out of my mouth that Christmas night. I knew I need to cool down, but when I came back home a few days later she was gone. Now I was feeling more pain than just a loss of a child, but my love had left me and I was to blame.

  I hear snap of fingers and then Rosalie’s voice, “Ryan, are you a daydreamer because you were just missing in action.”

  I snap my head to look at her, “Nah, I was just thinking is all.”

  “Well you should head for the beach. The children will be playing fútbol soon,” she spoke with that wise old owl smirk on her straight lips.

  “Ah yes, thank you,” as I run off toward the beach. Once I get to the water’s edge, I walk back a few feet and take off my shirt and slip off my flip flops. I place the s
hirt on my flip flops and run toward the water diving in to cool down. The water is so warm and blue. All I need is my floaty tube and a cold beer, just like when we go on vacation. Livi always packs me a floatation device of some sort for vacations that she purchases on clearance from Wal-Mart and stock piles them in the dining room closet. She is always thinking ahead and now I wonder if she has any of the rafts floats at her house. If I am here for a few weeks, I might as well enjoy myself. If I am going to stay permanently, I have to figure out how to get internet to Livi’s house and maybe the Cantina too. We need to be better able to communicate with family if Katie needs us.

  My thoughts come back to me again as I keep swimming and diving down to pick up shells and rocks. I come up to the surface and I can hear children’s laughter, so the kids must be outside playing soccer or whatever they call it here. I decide to stay in the water a little longer since it is so refreshing. I am treading water, looking toward the beach when I see a soccer ball coming rolling down to the water’s edge. I guess that is my cue to get out and go see my wife. I come out of the water and bend over to pick up the soccer ball. I am heading up the embankment toward the makeshift soccer field and I see Surfer Boy running up to me for the ball.

  “Ay man, I see you are all wit and you have my fútbol,” he says with a smile.

  “What is wit and yes, I have your soccer ball,” I spoke in a correcting manner.

  “Wit, you know from the water,” he chuckled back to me.

  “Oh wet, I got you now,” I laughed back at him.

  “You need lotion, you be turning all rit,” and I look at him all confused and he continued to speak, “All rit, your burning and I have lotion up here. Come follow.” Gosh, I think to myself what a confusing guy. I do better with the Spanish then I do with the Surfer Boy’s accent from where ever he is from. “Olivia tells me you were some Fútbol star goal tender back home and it helped you go to school for free. Totally wicked man and if you are willing maybe you can assist the wee ones with their skill drills,” he looks at me with a smile.